President Donald Trump har valgt, i påvente av denne ukens høringer, å utgi ett nytt referat fra den kjente telefonsamtalen med President Volodymyr Zelensky. Donald Trump bedyrer sin uskyld.

Donald Trump:Hey mister Ukrainian President.
Volodymyr Zelensky:Who’s this?
Donald Trump:This is your big broh, the best President ever.
Volodymyr Zelensky:Ehm, okay?
Donald Trump:How’s life in Ukraine?
Volodymyr Zelensky:It’s okay I guess. What do you want?
Donald Trump:I want to fight corruption.
Volodymyr Zelensky:What corruption?
Donald Trump:Okay listen, you should investigate Hunter Biden.
Volodymyr Zelensky:Why?
Donald Trump:If you don’t do it, I won’t give you the economic aid.
Volodymyr Zelensky:So you wanna pay me to investigate your political rivals son?
Donald Trump:WHAT? NO! YOU ARE A DO NOTHING DEMOCRAT!
Donald Trump jr.Dad, get off the phone, I need to call my publisher.
Donald Trump:Soon son, just wait a minute.
Volodymyr Zelensky:Grow up, President Trump.
Donald Trump:YOU ARE CORRUPT, MISTER UKRAINIAN PRESIDENT!
Volodymyr Zelensky:Goodbye.
Donald Trump:NOBODY SAYS NO TO ME!